Deception Dun Dun Dun!
by Lizard Lad
Summary: One-shot. Aang and Katara find someone to help them learn waterbending, but is he all that he seems? Prepare for randomness! AangKataraOC
1. Default Chapter

Author's note: This is my first Avatar fanfiction evah! Woo hoo! This takes place after _The Water Scroll_, but just assume that all the forms of waterbending are not written on that one scroll, and even if they were, they would still need training.

Summary: One-shot. Aang and Katara find someone to help them learn waterbending, but is he all that he seems? Prepare for randomness! Aang/Katara/OC.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: the Last Airbender. If I did, this would be an episode. I also don't own the law ninjas. Which is to bad, 'cause they're cool.

Narrating.

"Speaking."

'_Thinking.'_

Book 1: Water

Deception (Dun Dun Dun!)

Aang, the avatar, the last surviving airbender, the world's only 112-year-old boy, link between the mortal and spirit world, owner of the world's largest rubber band quilt… Wait, that last one's not true… Well, anyway, he and the others were riding Appa over the ocean heading for the North Pole.

"Okay guys," Katara said, turning to Aang and Sokka, "Since the Fire Nation's still after us, we'll need to keep a low profile. Does anybody have any ideas for how we can keep from drawing unnecessary attention to ourselves?"

"Ooh! Ooh! I know!" Said Sokka enthusiastically, waving his hand in the air.

"Yes Sokka?" The young waterbender asked, turning to her brother.

"We…" Answered Sokka. "Can start a rock band!" He then pulled out an electric guitar and started playing it.

"That's the most idiotic idea I've ever…" Began Katara, before Aang cut her off.

"Cool!" Said the hairless lad, pulling out a saxophone and rocking along with Sokka as Momo played on the drums. Were they got this stuff I'll never know.

"I'm surrounded by idiots." Katara observed.

"Rockin' idiots!" Corrected Sokka.

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Meanwhile, on a Fire Nation ship, the exiled Prince Zuko watched the flying bison that carried the unsuspecting rockin' idiots.

"Soon," The scarred teenager said, "I will be able to put my plan into action and victory shall finally be mine. If only…" He sighed. "_She_ was here." He was referring to the warrior girl he had glimpsed on the island of Kyoshi. He had a crush on her ever since. Sure, her hair was pretty short, with only that little ponytail. Sure, she was part of the Earth Nation. Sure, he didn't even know her name, or her his. But still, Zuko couldn't help thinking about her.

A/N: Bet you're dying from the awkwardness, huh? (In case you're slow on the uptake, he thought that Sokka in the Kyoshi warrior uniform was a girl.)

'_Oh well,'_ He thought, '_I might see her again someday. For now, I must prepare to execute my genius plan.'_

"I like tea." Said his uncle Iroh.

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"Well, here we are." Said Aang. "The North Pole."

"Now all we have to do," Said Katara, "Is to find someone to help us hone our waterbending skills!"

"Good luck with that." Said Sokka sarcastically. "There's no one here for miles!" And, for once, he was right. The area where they had landed was a barren, icy wasteland devoid of life. Except for one figure that Sokka suddenly spotted heading towards them.

"Sweet mother of potatoes!" He exclaimed, pointing. "It's Santa Claus!"

"Ho, ho, ho!" Said the rotund saint.

Sokka quickly ran up to meet him. "I've already made a list!" The boy explained. "First off, I want pony, a new boomerang-thingy to go with this one, swordchucks, a… Hey, wait a minute! Come back!" But Santa, not wanting to have to listen to some random kid's demands until at least December, had fled.

"Phooey." The teenager said.

"Well, I have to admit, that was pretty cool." Said Aang. "But where'll we find someone to teach us waterbending?"

"Did someone say waterbending?" Asked an unknown voice. "I think I can help."

They turned around to a handsome teenage boy, with long, blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. Katara nearly swooned when she saw him. Aang saw, and immediately decided that he hated that guy, whoever he was.

"My name is…" Said the pretty boy, pausing for effect. "Garistew." Again, Katara nearly swooned.

"I know all six waterbending techniques." Garistew explained. "Perhaps I can teach you. My igloo is only a short walk away, if you want to come."

"Sure!" Said Katara, unnervingly enthusiastic. Aang internally seethed. Still, teaching was teaching, and he needed all the help he could get if he wanted to master all four elements. So, he begrudgingly fallowed Garistew and Katara of into the distance. Sokka fell into a plot hole and will not be heard from until he is needed to further the story. Sorry man, that's how it goes.

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And so, for the next few days, Garistew taught Katara and Aang the finer points of waterbending. Most of them involved water. Anyway, Katara continued to swoon over Garistew and Aang continued to be jealous about it. There's really no need to show you all that, it's kind of repetitive. But that all changed on the fifth day…

"And so that's how all the people I ever cared for perished," Garistew explained to a teary-eyed Katara, "Leaving me to my pity-inducing and strangely attractive angst."

Katara sniffled. "Isn't that sad Aang?" She asked to the young monk, who was still busy being jealous off in a corner of the igloo. Wait a second, igloos are round! They don't even _have_ corners!

"Whatever." Said Aang bitterly from his physical impossibility. _'Stupid Garistew and his stupid angst.'_ Thought Aang. _'What does he have that I don't?'_

'_Hair, for one thing.'_ Said a little voice inside his head.

'_Be quiet.'_ Aang thought to the voice. _'My Q-ball head is adorable!'_ And indeed, it was.

"Well," Said Garistew, "Now that I've taught you the first four techniques of waterbending, I suppose it's time to…"

"Teach us the fifth one?" Katara tried.

"Actually," Responded Garistew, "I was thinking more along the lines of… TURN YOU OVER TO THE FIRE NATION! BWA, HA, HA!" Oh no! Garistew has been deceiving them? This must be the part with the deception! (Dun dun dun!)

"Garistew!" Katara cried. "How could you do this to us?"

"Foolish girl who is a fool!" Garistew laughed. "I am not Garistew! I am…" He ripped of the surprisingly convincing costume. "Prince Zuko! Ha, ha, ha!"

"Wait…" Aang said, confused. "If you're Zuko… Then how did you do waterbending?"

There was a long, awkward pause.

"Anyway," Zuko continued, "You shall now be vanquished, avatar, by my fiendishly fiery flame of freakish fury!" He then unleashed a huge fireball at Aang.

Just when the ball of flame was about to hit Aang…

"Nooooo!" Shouted Sokka as he jumped in front of Aang (Good to have you out of that plot hole, buddy!), taking the blow.

"Sokka!" Shouted Katara as she and Aang rushed to his side.

A/N: No, this is not one of those "character death" fics. Sokka is one of my favorite characters, up there with Uncle Iroh. He'll be okay, just watch and see.

"I… I… Did it." Coughed Sokka.

"Yes, Sokka," Katara said tearfully to her brother, "You saved us all."

"No… I mean…" Continued the Water Tribe teen. "I… Was… Able to do… This!" He then enthusiastically lifted up something that he had been holding, his signs of injury now totally gone. "See?" He said. "By exposing this cheese and bread to the fire, I created an entirely new type of food! I call it… Cheese toast!" He then began to happily eat his new creation.

"Yes, enjoy your toast of cheese while you can!" Prince Zuko shouted, drawing their attention back to him. "You have not seen the last of me!" He then used a fireball to make a hole in the ceiling of the igloo. The roar of helicopter blades filled the room and a rope ladder fell through the hole. "I'll be back!" Shouted Zuko as he grabbed onto the ladder and was hoisted through the hole and into the sky.

"Wait a second!" Exclaimed Aang. "Helicopters haven't been invented yet!"

Zuko's ride to freedom disappeared in a puff of logic and the exiled Prince fell back through the hole, rope ladder in hand. "Ah, Crud." He said.

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"All right boys, take him away!" Aang said cheerily to the law ninjas that had arrived to apprehend Prince Zuko.

"Hey," Said Sokka, approaching the disgruntled Zuko, "I've got a question."

"What?" He asked.

"If you were a prince, but now you're banished… Does that make you the firebender formerly known as Prince?" Sokka asked.

"Oh, like you're the first person to use that joke." Zuko answered sarcastically. Then he took a second look at Sokka. "Say," He said, "You look a lot like a warrior girl I saw on Kyoshi. Are you her brother or something?"

"I don't have any relatives on that island." Sokka responded.

"Oh well, then." Sighed the firebender as the ninjas dragged him off.

"That was odd." Sokka mused to himself. "I don't remember any of the girls there looking particularly like me. Unless…" A look that blended realization, shock and disgust crossed his face. "Oh my whatever deity we worship here!"

"Well," Said Katara, turning to the others, "We sure got through that little misadventure. What should we do now?"

Aang looked at Sokka. Sokka looked at Aang. Momo looked at Sokka. Sokka looked at Momo. Momo looked at Aang. Aang looked at Momo. They all looked at Katara.

"ROCK 'N' ROLL!" Sokka and Aang shouted in unison, pulling out their instruments.

"Come on, Santa!" Added Aang. "Jam with us!"

"Ho, ho, ho!" Exclaimed Santa Claus, picking up a bass guitar and playing along with Sokka, Aang and Momo. And so they rocked, those rockin', rockin' idiots.

A/N: Man, that was fun! And it only took about two days to make! Now for a game of word association! Review… Cookie! Flame… Monkey attack! Fudge… Yummilicious! Cheese… Pants! Okay, that was random, but you get the point. Before you leave, have some bonus footage for the end of the episode!

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Next time on an all-new Avatar (not really)…

"And so," Said the leader of the warriors preparing to fight against the Fire Nation, "The plans have shown that a small, bison-shaped vehicle would be able to get close enough to the death comet to fire a projectile into this air vent, causing a chain reaction that would destroy the station!" Everyone looked at Aang.

"I hate Star Wars parodies." He sighed.

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Okay, now it's over for real.


	2. Chappie numbuh 2

A/N: Well, this was unexpected. I was only planning to make this a one-shot, but my reviewers convinced me otherwise. Keep in mind that this will probably be the last chapter, and its main purpose is to answer reviews. Also, expect no real connection to the first chapter, plot-wise. Randomness is a major factor in my writing patterns.

Now for some review responses!

**Yulakai23**: Thanks! I personally thought that it was one of my better works. And it was instinctual not to kill Sokka… Not only is he too funny to finish off, but also character death leads to angst, and I'm no good at writing angst.

**Monkeybait**: Well, I'm writing more, just like you asked. And you'll see by my review that I read your story as well! Ah, the tangled webs we weave when we begin to play the quiet game…

**Blui**: Why, thank you. I always did like to make people laugh… But anyway, you are so right! Zuko _should_ have a cape! It would go perfectly with the rest of his outfit.

**Zephyrage**: It's good to know that I've made someone laugh insanely… It's the best kind of laughter! Yeah, the whole "firebender formerly known as Prince" thing was one of my personal favorite jokes in there.

**Myst172**: Specifically, I'm Sandaflippathong, god of sandals.

**Ktoe**: Why, thank you! You never told me how you escaped, though. Or was it that they just haven't caught you yet?

Dedication: To ElfKingofDemons, for letting me borrow her OCs.

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar: the Last Airbender. If I did, I'd be disturbed by what people on fanfic and elsewhere are doing with my characters.

Book one: water

Rockin' Idiots, Back With A Vengeance!

"I can't believe you interrupted our jam session with Santa!" Aang complained to Katara as they flew over the ocean.

"You had been playing for _forty minutes_!" Katara responded.

"Whatever." Aang huffed.

The author saw that this plot was going nowhere fast, so he decided to get our heroes horribly lost.

"Sokka!" Katara shouted, turning to face her brother, who had been steering. "How could you get us so lost so fast!"

"It wasn't me!" Sokka said, defending himself. "It's as if some strange deity from beyond suddenly decided to get us lost for it's own amusement!"

The said deity chuckled to himself, unheard by the foolish mortals whose every move he commanded. Then he decided to have a refreshing beverage.

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Meanwhile, Prince Zuko, having escaped from the law ninjas, was sitting in a cabin of his ship.

"Hi! I'm the Avatar!" He said in a squeaky voice, moving the "mouth" of a sock puppet with a blue magic-marker arrow on its head. "I think I'm all that, but I'm not!"

"Well, I'm Prince Zuko!" The young firebender said through another puppet with a painted-on scar and a felt ponytail. "And I shall defeat you and reclaim my honor!"

Zuko then proceeded to bump the two puppets together while making battle noises with his mouth. Then his shirt got ripped off for no good reason other than to get reviews from fangirls. Man, that's pathetic.

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The same deity who had done this lowly deed was now sipping his drink contentedly as he watched Sokka, Katara and Aang wander aimlessly over the sea.

"Maybe we should ask for directions." Katara suggested.

"I can't ask for directions." Answered Sokka.

"Why don't guys ever ask for directions?" His sister queried, annoyed.

"Most often it's to preserve the idea that we have a clue what we're doing," He replied, "But in this case it's because there are no sentient life forms within a seventy-five mile radius."

"Hello, fellow sentient life forms!" Shouted a teenage boy from a passing boat.

Sokka, embarrassed and confused, lowered toward the boat. The boy who had shouted was about Sokka's age, and, judging by his garb, was obviously from the Water Tribe.

"Excuse me!" Aang said to the boy. "Do you know the direction to… Um…" Aang paused. "Any idea where we want to go?" He whispered to his friends.

"Land would be nice." Sokka stated sarcastically.

"Do you know which way land is?" Aang relayed back to the boy.

"Hmm… That's a though one…" The boy scratched his head. "I'm gonna need to ask the others. Hey, Oh'en! Kasi! Come up here!" He shouted below deck.

"What is it, Mizu?" Asked an Earth Nation boy, again Sokka's age, emerged with a large backpack on his back. A Fire Nation girl quickly followed him.

"These guys want to know the way to land." The boy named Mizu replied.

"I honestly don't have a clue." Said the girl as she absentmindedly tugged at a metal band that encircled one of her arms.

"Let me get this strait." Said the backpack boy, a hint of exasperation in his voice. "You have no idea where we're going, and yet you're our captain?"

"Yes…" Replied the girl, igniting a fireball in her cupped hand. "And unless you don't like the 'eyebrows-singed-off' look, Oh'en, it's going to stay that way."

"Can't we all jut get along?" Pleaded Mizu.

"Look," Said Oh'en, "Why don't we just give these people their directions and… Hey, where'd they go?"

All three of the teenagers look up to find the flying bison and it's passengers gone.

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"Well," Said Aang, "That's the last time we try getting directions from weirdoes like those guys."

"Agreed." Said Katara, nodding her head.

"Well, since we probably won't be finding land anytime soon…" Began Sokka. "Why don't we just talk to pass the time?" This was a good idea, as dialog can easily replace action without the viewers noticing.

"I wonder what those freedom fighter kids are doing now that Jet's gone?" Aang mused.

"What do you mean, gone?" Sokka asked, perplexed. "Katara just froze him to a tree."

Aang whistled innocently to himself.

"I'm sure that they've found a much more competent, mentally balanced leader." Katara said optimistically.

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Meanwhile, in the freedom fighters' tree-fort headquarters…

"Okay, now that Jet's gone…" Said a short boy with blond hair covering his eyes. "I'm declaring myself _permanent_ temporary leader. Now, we'll need a new defense system, so I say we build a giant cannon!"

"And, what will this cannon shoot, exactly?" Asked a boy from the audience.

"Clams, of course!" Replied the blond. "Now, nobody sleeps until the clam cannon is completed! Ya hear?"

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Meanwhile, back with Aang and the others, the author struggled to come up with a creative, funny way to end the story. Rummaging through his bag of literary tricks, he came across an old tried-and-true method often used by Dave Barry: "Refer to something from the beginning of the story, thus jogging the reader's memory and triggering a knee-jerk laugh response."

"Rock on!" Said Aang as he, Sokka and Momo rocked like the rockin' idiots they where.

Ah, there we go.

A/N: Okay, that was fun, but I'm going to have to end it there. Not only am I out of random gag ideas, but also I need to get back to work on my "Teen Titans: the Next Generation" series (This next one may be one of my best.). Not to worry, I may make another Avatar fic in the future. But for now, this is staying at two chapters. With that aside, make sure to review!


	3. Chappie numbuh 3

A/N: Well, here we are, the third and final (I mean it this time!) chapter of my successful Avatar fanfiction: _Deception (Dun, Dun, Dun!)_. I'm sorry about lateness in the way of updating; there was a family vacation. Anyhow, I'm going to skip the boring stuff and get to the review responses.

**Zephyrage**: Thank you very much.

**Blui**: Glad to be of service.

**Rino**: I _knew_ those coconut trees were up to no good!

**Monkeybait**: Thank you, and I'm glad you caught the KND reference. Actually, the truth about the fate of Jet may lie in your review itself… Dun, dun, dun!

**Ilovechocl8**: THE MONKEYS HAVE REPOSSESSED MY EYEBROWS! Hey, you want random, you get random.

**SurferChik8882**: Thank you, but… How can she be your brother if she's a she?

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not even Phillip the nickel, even though she has nothing to do with this fic.

Book one: Water

Insert witty title here

As our heroes continued to fly over the ocean, Sokka fell asleep. Soon, he began to toss and turn, mumbling to himself.

"No… Momo… That's not true…" He said in his sleep. "I was never dropped as a baby… Wait… That ham… It's getting closer… Lookout! Aaaagh!" He bolted up, screaming.

"Are you okay?" Asked Katara.

"I had the dream again." Sokka replied, panting.

"You mean the one were you're nearly devoured by food and Momo verbally assaults you?" Aang asked.

"That's the one." Sokka replied.

"You know, I was just wondering…" Katara began. "If the Canyon Guide left for the Earthnation capitol along with the Zhangs and the Ganghins… Then how will people get across the canyon?"

"I'm sure everything will turn out fine." Sokka said dismissively.

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Meanwhile, Mizu, Kasi and Oh'en where standing at the edge of the canyon.

"I'm telling you," Oh'en said, "There's a guide that will help us get across. I'm sure he'll be here any minute now. Any minute now. Any minute now."

"What's the point?" Mizu asked despairingly. "The readers have no clue who we are, anyway! They only care about the canon characters."

He has a point there.

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"Land ho!" Aang shouted.

"Land? Where?" Katara asked, looking around.

"Under there." Aang replied.

"Under where?" Katara queried, confused.

"Ha, ha!" Aang laughed. "You said _underwear_!"

"That's exceedingly immature." Katara stated.

Appa continued to fly over the ocean. The plot stood still, frozen in time.

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Three uneventful (unless you count Sokka burping the Gettysburg Address) hours later…

"Land ho!" Aang shouted.

"You can't fool me a second time." Katara said.

"No, really!" Aang said. "I see land!"

And, sure enough, there was land.

"Finally!" Sokka exclaimed. "Where do you think we are?"

"Well, according to the map…" Aang said, unfolding a piece of paper. "We're in the Earthnation, and are about to fly over a small kingdom called… Udrogoth."

"Hey, I heard of that place." Sokka said. "Wasn't it the kingdom that was attacked by a giant, man-eating muffin last summer?"

"Yeah…" Replied Katara. "And isn't it also constantly threatened by a talking pig?"

"That's what I heard." Sokka answered.

Aang, Sokka and Katara looked at each other.

"Look!" Aang said. "According to the map, we're only ten hours away from Durmaloo!"

"Ooh, the hat capitol of the world! Let's go there!" Katara exclaimed.

"Maybe we can trade in that hat you made for Jet." Sokka suggested. "I'm sure we'd find a buyer. It's good for warming your head _and_ scaring away poisonous snakes with its sheer ugliness."

And so, off they flew over a place that would make no sense to anyone who hasn't seen Dave the Barbarian.

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Meanwhile…

"Any minute now." Oh'en said. "Any minute now. Any min…"

Never mind. These guys are boring. Let's just see what Zuko's doing and call it a rap.

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Zuko sat in his personal cabin, filled with angst.

"What is wrong, Zuko?" Asked his uncle Iroh, glad to have a line besides that inane little quip in the first chapter.

"I'm fine, Uncle." Zuko replied, sighing. "It's just that I ever since I learned Rose's secret, I've been wondering if maybe we where never meant to be…"

Zuko suddenly snapped his head up. "Why in the world did I say that? I don't know anybody named Rose! Unless…" He suddenly had a disturbing revelation. "Oh no! I must be channeling Dante Basco's _other_ voice acting role, Jake Long!"

He fell to his knees and screamed to the heavens. "Disney Channel, why must you torment me? First I lost most of my hair and got this scar, then I had to chase after a crazy little bald kid, and now this! Can my life get any worse?"

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Meanwhile, at the Headquarters for Illogical Avatar Pairings (H.I.A.P.), a group of girls was watching "The Storm" frame-by-frame when one of them noticed something.

"OMG!" She exclaimed. "Look! In the audience, watching Zuko get scorched! There's a girl! She'll be perfect for our next fanfic that pairs Zuko up with an unlikely character!"

"OMG, you're right!" Said another. "And, even though she seems to enjoy seeing him in pain, I'm sure that they have a love-hate relationship and end up making out!"

"And even though she's in a Firenation court…" Yet another continued. "I'm sure she has some unique power, like plantbending!"

The rest of the girls cheered at this suggestion. Then, sensing that the story was coming to and end and that the readers would like a sense of closure, one of them suddenly shouted "Rockin' idiots!"

At this, all of the girls started playing air guitar.

"Okay folks!" Aang said, popping out of nowhere. "The fic's over now! You can go back to your normal lives! Drive safely and, oh yeah, REVIEW! Goodnight everyone!"

A/N: It's finally over. Man, that was fun to do. My next fic will be a Teen Titans one, unrelated to "The Next Generation", which I feel was sort of a flop. And before you go, here's a little "bonus footage", courtesy of me.

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"Who's a happy boy? Who's a happy boy?" Said the man in a lion suit as he poked Jet repeatedly. "Who's a happy boy?"

"Remind me to never hit on the avatar's girlfriend again." Jet said to himself.

"Who's a happy boy?" The costumed man asked again.

"Will you quit it?" Jet snapped.

"Who's a happy boy?"

"My cabbages!" Screamed the cabbage-vendor-guy as his cart full of cabbages spontaneously combusted.

"Who's a happy boy?"


End file.
